My Illegitimate Mexican Love Child

Many of the best (and most random) conversations spawn from a little known place called Facebook. In such an environment, you can say the stupidest stuff without fear of the strange looks and awkwards silences. Here's a good example.


Jan Welk
Today at 9:08pm
hows my illegitimate mexican love child doing?


Mark Loewen
Today at 9:10pm
me no speaky no english, el spanol. you really should pay ur child support. i cannot go to any mexican school because mama says that she has to buy alcohol and it's either buy food and clothes for me or alcohol for her. but i don't blame her. when i was three years old she gave me alcohol and i like it. why aren't you around anymore, daddy?


Jan Welk
Today at 9:11pm
I'll talk to the child care people and i'll re-adopt u. But after that figure skating incident, Jimmy, I'm not sure either of us is ready.


Mark Loewen
Today at 9:16pm
I know what you mean, papa, you nearly cut my head off with your ice skate. firstly i was surprised when you made me a homemade rink in the hot desert of mexico, but i was even more surprised when i found out all the water was actually just your tears, shed for me and frozen for all children who love mexico and burritos. i cried that day. mama drank that day.


Jan Welk
Today at 9:21pm
Please tell me you just made that up. That story alone made me cry and wish all my mexican love children came back to me. The head almost being cut off was an impulsive moment. Do remember that you missed that "triple axle blowing water out your butt with a straw wearing a sombrero" Trick. But its amazing that reconstructive surgery can reattach a head, fix the airpipe and give u two burritos for free, but are unable to take out that straw?


Mark Loewen
Today at 9:25pm
actually, i wasn't amazed that they could reattach my small mexican head, but the two burritos was a bit of a shocker. that was a brilliant trick. and no i did not make that up. you were there. that actually happened. papa, you're breaking my heart. i want you to come home. we upgraded from a hole in the ground to a trailer. i know it's not much of an upgrade and mama says the hole kept the snakes out better, but i think it's nice to have three walls and half of a roof. papa, will you sing to me. just like you used to when we would sit up high on the telephone poles and watch beautiful mexico city as the hookers and druggies crawled out to enjoy the night. i remember one particular hooker that you said would be my first. you left before i could meet her. chara was her name. daddy come home and take me to see chara.


Mark Loewen
Today at 9:27pm
the straw remains as a sad reminder...


Jan Welk
Today at 9:31pm
You see her every day. U asked me that exact question only a couple years ago (mexican time) and that is your new mama. Son, I've never seen anybody so happy. I made me cry, and not just because of the insane amount of money she gets every day. But don't worry about her drinking habits. I'll make you her head pimp, and you now what else. I'm buying you the best car mexico has ever seen. A friend recommende me it. It's called a honda civic, and a real chick-picker-upper(?)


Mark Loewen
Today at 9:34pm
i've got one, ok but now i'm switching out of mexico mode tho i am thinking about printing that conversation off and sharing it with the world. cause it was incredible. anyway me and josh and two undetermined people are going to a finger eleven/ sum 41 concert on wednesday.